Everybody wants honesty, but how many of us want truth?

There are two things I need to say in beginning this:

1) I will never say that I am faultless or perfect, but I am a constant work in progress that is striving for righteousness.

2) There is a difference between honesty and truth.

Honesty is the correct yes or no answer to any question you want to know the answer to, but truth is the answer to anything you need to know, but never knew to ask. Honesty is a flashlight that casts away the darkness of the lies that are right in front of our face while truth is a blinding light that takes any shadow of a lie that is all around us.

In talking to people and hearing how others handle situations and their daily lives, I can fathom that we all want to receive honesty and most of us try to be honest. When our parents, family, significant others, friends, or anyone else talks to us, we generally and genuinely want them to be honest with us. If we ever find out that those we are dependent on for honesty lie to us, we actually get hurt, upset, or at the very least...disappointed. But this is the extent of honesty; it can only be directed directly at us or we can only give it to others.

The truth, however, is far reaching. In other words, the people in Australia see the same sun that the people in Utah see and the truth is the same and just as relevant whether it's discovered in Mexico, Nigeria, Pakistan or China. The biggest difference between the truth and honesty is how we handle it and how we relate to it.

When someone is honest with us, even if the honesty hurts, we eventually deal with it. We deal with it because the honesty is something that we wanted to know about, and it's always a little easier to swallow what you asked for in the first place. On the other hand, when we find out about the truth, there's an entirely different spectrum of possible feelings. The first thing most of us do is to deny what we've been given is the truth. Many times, we don't want to believe it which can also lead us to being angry about the truth or even wanting to "shoot the messenger" just for giving us the truth.

I believe that(and this is my opinion) we deny the truth and we get angry about the truth because we know that once it's brought to our attention, things are never the same afterwards. Granted, some of us ignore what we've learned and try to go back to living the lie we knew before the truth was presented to us. But no matter how hard we try to go back to the ignorant lie, and no matter how hard we try to forget the truth, we're still responsible and held accountable for the truth. Don't believe me? When your parents told you what right and wrong was, did they hold you accountable anytime you ignored them and did wrong? For those of us who have cars, most of them can go over 100 m.p.h., but if we ignore enough speed limit signs, what happens to us?

I write this not only to give the difference between honesty and truth, but to also urge anyone who reads this to always seek the truth. I know the truth isn't always pretty and it isn't always what we want to know, but it is always what we need to know and "the truth shall set you free". Free from living the lies we did or didn't know we were living, free from having to worry about covering up the truth because we'd be living proof of it, and free from the suspecting eyes of others because no matter how hard anyone else could try, they would have nothing on us because we would be walking in truth.

A Shout Out to Whuppings!

First of all, I would like to thank God, my parents, & a suspended high school coach in Mississippi named Marlon Dorsey. I would also like to thank the first mom that used a branch from a tree, a belt, a house shoe, or a hot wheel track to initiate corporal punishment to some little bad kid that deserved it.

I remember the first time and last time I got whipped as a kid. I don't remember why I got whipped the first time, but I remember crying...hard. I remember that I "hated" my parents for whipping me. I felt like I had been abused. The very last time I got whipped, I was a teenager. I had been in the parking lot of my mom's middle school and I was jumping over the hood of my parent's car a couple of times. One of my mom's coworkers saw me and told my mom. When my parents got me home, they questioned me about what I had done. I remember thinking to myself as my dad pulled off his belt, "I know he's not going to whip me. I'm a teenager!" I got my teenage butt whipped that day.

Instances like these, made me dislike my parents, but that dislike was temporary. At the time, I didn't understand what they were doing, but now, I couldn't be happier that they did it. No (good) parent wants to spank, whip, or beat their kids, but talking, nagging, and time outs only go so far, and there's not always a big chance for reasoning with kids especially when they want to have their way. But (good) parents know that the longer bad behavior goes unpunished, the worse the behavior will become.

I'm beyond sick and tired of liberal minded "forward thinking" adults and coddling parents who feel that whuppings are indecent, offensive, and unnecessary. These are the same people that will bemoan the overcrowded jails and the crime rate. When I got too far out of line, my parents whipped me. Because of that, I love and respect them more because they didn't try to be my "friend". Friends don't whip friends and parents aren't supposed to be friends with their kids.

The bottom line is because of what my parents did for me, they made me understand that my actions have consequences so it's best for me to pick the right actions to take. And this understanding kept me away from doing the wrong thing which is why I know better now as a grown man.

SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE PARENTS THAT STILL BELIEVE IN WHUPPINGS!

Asking for a spot does NOT mean I want you to work out with me

Just to state for record's sake, I don't go to the gym to:

1) Dress in the latest sports attire and model for everyone
2) Flirt with the women
3) Talk to everybody instead of working out

With that being said, I do go to the gym because I want to stay in good physical condition while eating whatever I please and I want to get stronger than I already am. The keywords there are "stronger than I already am". This means that I have limits and weaknesses that I'm trying to overcome, but I can only do that by pushing myself to those limits.

Just to make sense of this, when I ask someone for a spot in the gym, I am asking for someone to assist me. If I am on the bench press, that may mean "breaking" the weight by removing it from the bar, and then watching me to make sure that I don't let the bar loaded with weight crush my chest. That's it! I don't ask for a spot so the person can do the exact opposite of what I do and can get a workout in too.

When I'm on the bench press, I don't want the person spotting me to pull the bar up as I'm trying to push it up. Why? Because if someone else is pulling all the weight, what kind of workout am I getting and if someone else is doing all the work, then I'm not getting any stronger.

You may or may not be into fitness, but I hope this point hits home for you...if someone else is doing all the work for you or taking the "weight" of the world off your shoulders, then not only are you living a sheltered life, but you're also not getting stronger. So when that "spotter" or that "yes" man isn't around anymore, an actual problem will crush your weak self. Just remember that it's always good to ask for assistance, but never ask for a crutch.

What is the point of an idea?

The second most important lesson any of us can ever learn is that our minds are the playground where any and everything we want to happen can happen. I know that at one time, the people reading this wanted to be spacemen, princesses, firemen, and probably a few of you who wanted to be president. I'm sure that somewhere along the line, you told your ideas and your dreams to someone else, and they said something to the effect of, "That will never work." So in just four simple words, it's possible to crush an idea even before it's attempted. But this raises the bigger question, what is the point of an idea?

Ideas are a construct of our minds & often, the difference between its success or failure depends on if we use that idea or not. Nothing you use or buy has ever or will ever magically appear. The television you watch...started out as an idea, the computer you use...started out as an idea, and even the websites you visit were just ideas in a person's head until they decided to try them. The next big thing that everyone will want is an idea in someone's head right now.

Ideas need plans, and plans need ideas. It's a basic symbiotic relationship. You may have an idea that you decide to share with your friends and family. They may tell you that it's a great idea and you might even share it with people you meet on twitter or facebook. The setback for you now is that unless you come up with a plan of action, the only thing that you have is an idea. From here, there's one of two conclusions: either your idea is wasted and it profits you nothing, or someone else thinks of your idea or steals your idea and uses it. In the last scenario, you become one of the people who inevitably say, "Aww, I had thought of that. If only I had done something with it."

The last thing to bring up is what is the value of an idea? Every idea is both priceless to the person who thought of it, and worthless to everyone else until that idea has a physical breakthrough. So for those of you with ideas running through your heads now, I hope you start a plan for your idea so that you can make it a reality for the rest of us.

You done messed up

We are all capable of great and wonderful things, and in our lifetimes, many of us are able to achieve those things. Even with our capability for goodness, there's one thing that none of us can escape. We are all human, and therefore, we are all also capable of messing up.

Now when I say that we are capable of messing up, it's not a cop-out or an excuse for anyone to do wrong. What this means is that if we gave in to our body's desires and whims, then we would quickly and easily mess up. I can't count how many times I've personally screwed up, but I can honestly say that every time I did, I was never forced into the wrongdoing. It's always in our control to do the right thing or fall for the wrong...remember that.

The main reason I came up with this blog is because of something I read. There was a rich and powerful man who had the best of everything and beautiful women all over him. One night, he saw this gorgeous woman and he found out who she was and he found out she was married. He didn't let marriage stop him because he sent his hired help to tell her to come to his house, and when she did, he slept with her and got her pregnant. So he came up with a plan of sending her husband to the front line of a war, and her husband was killed. After that, this rich man married the woman. I can't begin to describe how many ways this man messed up.

The story I'm talking about is the story of David, but here's the kicker...David was so wrapped up in how good his wrongdoing felt that he didn't even realize he was doing wrong. God ended up sending someone to him to tell him that he slipped up and messed up. That's just how warped we get when we get caught up in the wrong thing. We lose sight of the fact that we're doing wrong, and I can recall several occasions where someone else had to tell me that I was in the wrong. Of course, the first thing I did was get upset, and I've also said, "Who are you to judge me? You ain't perfect!".

No, there is no one among us that's perfect, but if your first thought when someone tells you that you messed up is to get angry, you need to pause. Think about what they said, and why they said it. Sometimes, people will try to call you out on something just because they don't like you. But there are also times that people will tell you, "You done messed up." because they actually care enough about you to fill you in when you're clueless about how badly you're slipping up.

And when you realize what you've done wrong, "I'm sorry" is the first thing you need to say to the ones you've wronged. Just remember that it's always easier to tell yourself "No!" when it comes to doing something that you know is wrong than having to humble yourself and apologizing for the wrong that you allowed yourself to do. And if you ever need a visual reminder of what happens when you slip up, check out 2 Samuel 12:1-12. It's a lot easier to read someone else's consequences than to have to face your own.

Why I Go to Church

The title of this blog says exactly what I'll be talking about right now. I was moved to write this after I read "The Dilemma of the Unchurched Believer". I feel that this was a good blog because it expresses the writer's true feelings no matter what anyone else thinks.

My first reason for going to church as a kid was because my parents made me. Most Sundays, I didn't want to go and I would try to find any excuse not to go which would include lying about being sick, injured, or even losing clothes(yeah, it was that bad). But as a kid, I could only look forward to the time I was a grown up and I wouldn't have to go to church anymore.

Once I graduated high school and left home for college, my dad died. That event, plus oddly enough, reading The Autobiography of Malcolm X, I began to seriously doubt the presence and existence of God. That doubt grew to denial which led me to living on my own earthly beliefs.

A number of things renewed my belief and my faith in God. For starters, I have lived through a major car accident, I've lived through sickness, and there have been many situations in my life that I had no control over yet I made it through. While some might say doctors healed me, or I had luck on my side, I know enough to be able to say that there is no book or no person that can teach someone else how to perform miracles of healing. I can also say that luck has nothing to do with the trials I've made it through because if luck truly existed, everyone would have a rabbit's foot right now. So my renewed faith in God brought me back to church. It was incredulous to me that I actually wanted to go.

But that's not the end of it because at one time(this is around 2002), I stopped going to church. My church became divided over a preacher and I couldn't stand it. I got fed up with all of these people who claimed they loved God fussing and fighting like they do on VH1 reality shows. So I figured that I could still get my praise on with God at my house by watching the t.v. ministers. This kind of life didn't work for me for 2 reasons. First, I began to see that the less time I spent being around people who were working to be more God-like and the more time I spent being around people who didn't care about religion, the less attention I gave God. Second, I came to accept and understand that going to church was meant for me to get closer to God by learning about Him through His word, and not so I can get closer to another person.

There is no man alive that determines my success or my failure, and there is no man alive that determines my salvation or my damnation. I've learned that that is why I go to church to, "Serve the Lord with fear, and rejoice with trembling." (Psalms 2:11) The journey I made to give my life to God is far from done, but it is my journey. I can't tell you who to serve, and neither can anyone else. But I will gladly tell you what He's done for me.

It's highly acceptable to brag on others

I like talking about myself. That may sound like an amazing revelation, but even I have to admit that sometimes, I enjoy spending time in self-amazement at all my "glory". In spite of this, I am constantly made aware of something even more powerful and something more worthwhile... flaunting the gifts, abilities, and successes of others.

Am I crazy for this...not in the least bit. Because not only have I found that my friends have told more people about what I've done than I could ever do alone, but I also find it more fun to talk about someone other than myself. How else do we find out about the singer with the amazing voice that no one else has heard of? Do you personally always have the best relationship advice or do you get words of wisdom from someone who's been in a happy relationship for years on end?

We are a world that thrives on information and the only way that information is learned is when you pass it on. I've made amazing friends, acquaintances, contacts, and whatever else you want to call them, but the greatest thrill in knowing them is making sure others know about them too.