The dangers of outgrowing yourself

"Don't get too grown for your britches." As a kid, I heard that line from my parents a lot, but I didn't quite understand it. Their words never really sank in through my "hard head" until I was an adult, and to this day, I still have to recall this bit of wisdom in certain times. Back then, it wasn't just my parents that drilled me with this truth because my neighbors and every other adult who cared made sure to let me know. In my opinion, one of the biggest problems that I'm seeing in today's world is that most of us are so focused on ourselves instead of others that we're starting to outgrow our own "britches" and our selfishness and conceit is slowly destroying the things we are trying to build.

Granted, most people, especially self absorbed people, never want to hear that their own egos are hurting them. There is no better example of this self-destructive behavior than the "self-made" man or woman. Just the term "self-made" gives me visions of a grown person throwing a tantrum about what they've built, what they've done, the success they've had, what they're not going to do, and if someone doesn't like what they're saying, they're willing to "take their ball and go home". The "self-made" people are quick to "toot their own horn" while successfully ignoring and denying the contributions of every other person beside and behind them that helped push them to success.

The "self-made" attitude only leads to an unfortunate and unnecessary outcome...solitude. See, alone time is great to get away from the maddening crowd and recharging your batteries, but solitude is putting yourself on an island away from anyone who could help you. A tree needs the sun, water, dirt, and carbon dioxide to live and to grow. If you take away one of those elements, the tree will ultimately die, and just like a tree, the more people you take away from one person, the less chance they have to grow, until they face an inevitable end...death. Even if that death is just in the figurative sense, the dreams, desire, and future success of the "self-made" individual die without people watering and illuminating them.

One thing that is almost as cancerous to success as abandoning outside assistance is having the wrong kind of people around you. No person is right 100% of the time, but if you are surrounded with the kind of people that put you on a pedestal, and acquiesce to your every word, then your growth is again stunted. When a tree is growing in an undesired way, it becomes necessary to prune the tree so that it can properly grow. And in the same fashion, when our words or actions are detrimental to our desired outcome we need people around us who are willing to "prune" or talk to us to let us know that we're straying off course. These yes men aren't willing to do that for us which can only lead to wild and overgrown egos.

The last problem that can only destroy us is that in our pursuit to become a better version of ourselves, we become people that are foreign to everyone that knows us. Self-improvement is a great and necessary thing, but in a world of plastic surgery and fake personas, many of us do anything we can to be someone we're not. Speaking from my own experience, I've tried to create images of myself that I thought others wanted to see, and I've even gone so far as to create an entirely different life than my own online. I eventually had to come to the sober truth that living lies and running from who you are only causes you to lose yourself. The more time you spend trying to reinvent yourself, the more time you'll spend trying to "get in touch" with this new you. You were born with an unique personality and you were raised in a certain environment; and since this can never be changed, instead of reinvention, seek to improve yourself.

$Free Speech$

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

Read the above words carefully and after you reread them, give them a minute to let them soak in. This one run-on sentence is the First Amendment in all of its glory. This one sentence protects every American's right to say whatever is on their mind to say, but sometimes, there are certain misconceptions that come in interpreting this sentence.

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof." The simple fact is that while I am a practicing Christian, I shouldn't have to worry about a Catholic, a Muslim, or even an atheist imposing on my right to practice my beliefs at my church, I must also show the same tolerance to a person of another religion as well. Free speech and tolerance are two way streets and are not meant just for the "popular" or for the "most easily tolerated".

"...the right of the people to peaceably assemble." Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. said that, "The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins." We all have the freedom of speech, but we are also all bound to peaceably use that freedom of speech. You and I are safe to say whatever we please unless a war of words becomes a physical war.

There's one final detail, but this is the most important one...everyone's speech is free, but there is a cost for us to use that freedom. While we are justified under the laws of the government to speak our minds, the words that come out of our mouths all come with a consequence or a reward. When you tell your boss how you really feel about them, you can either get a raise or you can get fired. Whether you tell your significant other the truth or lies, what happens to your relationship is a direct result of your "free" speech.

The bottom line is that it's always easier to censor yourself instead of having to apologize for your words after the fact. Keep this in mind while you're exercising your "free" speech.

What you cry is oppression, I call laziness

By now, most of you have probably heard rumblings of this CNN article, and it inspired me to write this blog. The first thing I thought about after reading this is the history of the United States. This country was founded by European settlers who drove out Native Americans from their land and into reservations, and the land was worked by African slaves. I'm not mentioning this in hopes of inciting racial hatred; I say this to point out one simple fact that a friend on Twitter mentioned, "The U.S. was built for white people to succeed."

White people have long been afforded the opportunity to be as successful as they wanted to be, and have had the luxury of getting that success largely by the color of their skin if so chose to attain success that way. Now we live in a time where the race truly does go to the swift and not to one with the certain skin color. I remember a time when some of my own brothers and sisters would cry about "the man holding us down" or "we can't get a break because of the system".

The truth is that although racism still overtly and covertly exists, the oppression behind that racism has long been defeated. Just as assuredly that there's a white person somewhere still calling black people niggers, there's a black person somewhere still calling white people devils. The fact is that we all have the ability to rise above any racial hatred and ignorance simply by the work we are willing to do. For anyone who feels "racially oppressed" in this day and age, you are only being lazy and rather than work to rise above your current status, you choose to cry in the hopes of being given what you should be working for.

The bottom line is that in these United States, racism still exists, but there is no more oppression, so get over yourself, and get on with the work you need to do in order to achieve success...or get passed by.

Everybody wants honesty, but how many of us want truth?

There are two things I need to say in beginning this:

1) I will never say that I am faultless or perfect, but I am a constant work in progress that is striving for righteousness.

2) There is a difference between honesty and truth.

Honesty is the correct yes or no answer to any question you want to know the answer to, but truth is the answer to anything you need to know, but never knew to ask. Honesty is a flashlight that casts away the darkness of the lies that are right in front of our face while truth is a blinding light that takes any shadow of a lie that is all around us.

In talking to people and hearing how others handle situations and their daily lives, I can fathom that we all want to receive honesty and most of us try to be honest. When our parents, family, significant others, friends, or anyone else talks to us, we generally and genuinely want them to be honest with us. If we ever find out that those we are dependent on for honesty lie to us, we actually get hurt, upset, or at the very least...disappointed. But this is the extent of honesty; it can only be directed directly at us or we can only give it to others.

The truth, however, is far reaching. In other words, the people in Australia see the same sun that the people in Utah see and the truth is the same and just as relevant whether it's discovered in Mexico, Nigeria, Pakistan or China. The biggest difference between the truth and honesty is how we handle it and how we relate to it.

When someone is honest with us, even if the honesty hurts, we eventually deal with it. We deal with it because the honesty is something that we wanted to know about, and it's always a little easier to swallow what you asked for in the first place. On the other hand, when we find out about the truth, there's an entirely different spectrum of possible feelings. The first thing most of us do is to deny what we've been given is the truth. Many times, we don't want to believe it which can also lead us to being angry about the truth or even wanting to "shoot the messenger" just for giving us the truth.

I believe that(and this is my opinion) we deny the truth and we get angry about the truth because we know that once it's brought to our attention, things are never the same afterwards. Granted, some of us ignore what we've learned and try to go back to living the lie we knew before the truth was presented to us. But no matter how hard we try to go back to the ignorant lie, and no matter how hard we try to forget the truth, we're still responsible and held accountable for the truth. Don't believe me? When your parents told you what right and wrong was, did they hold you accountable anytime you ignored them and did wrong? For those of us who have cars, most of them can go over 100 m.p.h., but if we ignore enough speed limit signs, what happens to us?

I write this not only to give the difference between honesty and truth, but to also urge anyone who reads this to always seek the truth. I know the truth isn't always pretty and it isn't always what we want to know, but it is always what we need to know and "the truth shall set you free". Free from living the lies we did or didn't know we were living, free from having to worry about covering up the truth because we'd be living proof of it, and free from the suspecting eyes of others because no matter how hard anyone else could try, they would have nothing on us because we would be walking in truth.

You done messed up

We are all capable of great and wonderful things, and in our lifetimes, many of us are able to achieve those things. Even with our capability for goodness, there's one thing that none of us can escape. We are all human, and therefore, we are all also capable of messing up.

Now when I say that we are capable of messing up, it's not a cop-out or an excuse for anyone to do wrong. What this means is that if we gave in to our body's desires and whims, then we would quickly and easily mess up. I can't count how many times I've personally screwed up, but I can honestly say that every time I did, I was never forced into the wrongdoing. It's always in our control to do the right thing or fall for the wrong...remember that.

The main reason I came up with this blog is because of something I read. There was a rich and powerful man who had the best of everything and beautiful women all over him. One night, he saw this gorgeous woman and he found out who she was and he found out she was married. He didn't let marriage stop him because he sent his hired help to tell her to come to his house, and when she did, he slept with her and got her pregnant. So he came up with a plan of sending her husband to the front line of a war, and her husband was killed. After that, this rich man married the woman. I can't begin to describe how many ways this man messed up.

The story I'm talking about is the story of David, but here's the kicker...David was so wrapped up in how good his wrongdoing felt that he didn't even realize he was doing wrong. God ended up sending someone to him to tell him that he slipped up and messed up. That's just how warped we get when we get caught up in the wrong thing. We lose sight of the fact that we're doing wrong, and I can recall several occasions where someone else had to tell me that I was in the wrong. Of course, the first thing I did was get upset, and I've also said, "Who are you to judge me? You ain't perfect!".

No, there is no one among us that's perfect, but if your first thought when someone tells you that you messed up is to get angry, you need to pause. Think about what they said, and why they said it. Sometimes, people will try to call you out on something just because they don't like you. But there are also times that people will tell you, "You done messed up." because they actually care enough about you to fill you in when you're clueless about how badly you're slipping up.

And when you realize what you've done wrong, "I'm sorry" is the first thing you need to say to the ones you've wronged. Just remember that it's always easier to tell yourself "No!" when it comes to doing something that you know is wrong than having to humble yourself and apologizing for the wrong that you allowed yourself to do. And if you ever need a visual reminder of what happens when you slip up, check out 2 Samuel 12:1-12. It's a lot easier to read someone else's consequences than to have to face your own.

Thank you 9/11 first responders, and screw congressional bureaucrats

There was a moment in my life when I was involved in a car accident that was so severe that my head was split open and I was knocked unconscious. I could not help myself, and if it were not for the grace of God, onlookers, policemen, firemen and emergency medical technicians(first responders) who airlifted me to a hospital, I would have died. For one second, I want you to think about a moment where you, a loved one, or even just someone you know owes their life to the unselfish and ever alert actions of a first responder.

With that thought in your mind, it is beyond my political comprehension that any man or woman, Democrat or Republican could have the nerve to vote no on a bill for health care for 9/11 first responders. Why, in God's name would Republicans vote "no" to this bill? Because, "the bill would pay for itself by closing a tax loophole on foreign companies with U.S. subsidiaries." In other words, multinational corporations that are exempt from U.S. taxes would no longer have that exemption. And, Republicans aren't in agreement with that.

But the health care bill received a majority vote which would have passed it, but Democratic representatives enacted a special voting procedure which required that the bill get at least a 2/3 majority vote in order to be passed. Why? Because the Democrats felt the Republicans might "try to kill the bill with amendments". What kind of message does this send to every American who is a first responder and even Americans who are simply good Samaritans? First responders get paid for their job, but they take the classes and get the necessary training for their jobs by their own choice. So it seems that the men and women of congress are telling them that they made a poor choice in judgment because of congress's unwillingness to help our own even though the first responders are helping us.

But this isn't a rant. This is a request for you to use your political power to help influence your congressmen. Write your representative by going here. Once you get the address, mail your congressman a letter and ask, no demand that they revive the Zadroga act and then to vote yes. If you don't want to mail a letter, call them instead. We were all so happy to "rock the vote", so here's a chance to make more real change for the people who help keep us alive.

Get Out of Your Cage(Thank You Katt Williams)

I find inspiration in all places, and as funny as Katt Williams is to me(and a lot of others), he said an analogy which really hit home with me. When you watch this clip, be prepared for explicit language, but if you listen to everything he's saying, hopefully you'll truly understand the joke/analogy.

Just like you have at least one big, bold, beautiful dream that you want to accomplish, so do I. Personally, I want to produce and direct my own movies and television shows. Just like you have planned for your dream, so have I. I have scripts and screenplays, and I'm mailing letters and sending e-mails to any production company I can find. Now, just like you, I run into negatives, and people who say, "Thanks, but no thanks."

This is where the cage comes into play. We've all heard that we are destined for greatness, and the truth is that we are, but sometimes we start doubting and even denying that truth when we get bombarded by the negatives. I say we because I know that I've been guilty of that as well. I can also say that just like the people who pass by the tiger's cage at the zoo and take pictures of a captive tiger, there are people in our lives who look at us like captured tigers, except instead of throwing peanuts at us, they throw insults just to try to make us feel low.

Keep this analogy in mind when it comes to realizing your dream, because just like Katt said, all it takes is one opportunity and your dream will become reality. I also want you to keep in mind that if your dream was easy to obtain, then it wouldn't be a dream, it would just be an errand. You are a tiger, you were born free, and I just swiped the zookeeper's key so let's go!

The difference between God and my words

I write a LOT of words. You can see them here, on Twitter, and on sites like Brotherspeak and Hubpages. No matter where you find my words, you can see and read them as much as you like, but we can't see God. He could be standing next to me or sitting next to you right now and we wouldn't know it.

Now here's the kicker...no matter how hard I try or how hard you try, you can't feel my words, but every day God's presence can be felt. I feel God's presence every morning I wake up because I know there was no other way I was able to open my eyes but because of Him. When I hear about someone miraculously surviving a car wreck or going through some ordeal that others haven't or wouldn't survive, I feel God's presence. And every time a baby is born, God's presence is felt. Science does its best to explain birth, life and genetics because science can not and never should deal with anything that's unseen.

Yet as wonderful and beneficial as science is, nobody can fully explain who we are and where we came from because it took God to make us. I'm a writer and through my words, I have created alternate realities and I've used my words to give my commentary on the world and how I see it. God is a creator and he created the world we live on, us, and everyone around us.

The bottom line is that my words express who I was and who I am, so they serve as my own personal testimony. I know that God's presence can be felt by anyone, but it's up to you to feel it for yourself. I can only tell you what he's done for me.

6 rules of living given by an old head

I never know where my next lesson is coming from, but this one came from an old head this morning.

6) Don't jump at the first person that says they like you. Be picky until you find what you want.
5) Don't start mess, but if it starts, end it.
4) Your parents are important examples of how to live your life. They either show you what you're supposed to do or what you never should do.
3) Don't be an a**. Nobody likes an a**.
2) Life is short, but it's long if you make stupid mistakes, so watch what you do.
1) Be respectful

Second life

My name is Garrett Rogers, and I've already died once. I have lied, cheated, and misused people. I've burned almost as many bridges as I've made, and some of those bridges will never be under construction again. I was told by my doctor that I have a big heart, and in this case, I'm not talking about the giving kind of heart. My doctor told me I had an enlarged heart, but it wasn't because of genetics; it was because I ate cake, burgers, pizza, and drank Dr. Pepper like the government was going to ban junk food the next day. Yet, in spite of giving in to my vices, my fears, and my prejudices...I still live.

I don't live because of my sin or bad habits, but I live in spite of them for two reasons...grace and choices. I'm saying that God has been graceful to give me a chance to see the sun rise for 33 years, and even if you don't share my belief, you have to know that your alarm clock isn't the only reason you wake up. My choices also keep me alive because rather than live the same life I have lived, I've chosen to change all that was negative and wrong with me. So that meant cutting out the Dr. Pepper, and eating a salad every now and then, but I didn't give up all of my junk food though. I also had to walk away from the people or things from my past life of wrong. It's not that they were wrong and everything I used to do wasn't bad, but I make the choices I make to make sure that I don't go back to a life that would entice me to do wrong or is wrong for me.

I don't write these words for condemnation, sympathy or even understanding, but I write these words to be an example and a voice. I want others to see the life that I used to live and then see the consequences I faced for living that life, and once you see the before, pay attention to the after. I'll tell you what I did and then you can see what I'm doing. Every day I strive to find a way to improve my life and to improve the lives of others because I am given a second life and I want to live this life for good.

The bottom line is that if you are alive to read this right now, do right by your self and do right by others. Trust me when I say that the rewards will be 1,000 times better than if you chose to do wrong.

What I've learned from LOST

I'll admit that I've only watched the first season of LOST and the first show of the second season, yet even in that short time, I've learned a few things. The first two things I've learned is that 1) Sometimes, I think waaay too much, and 2) Sometimes, I watch too much television. In spite of these two "revelations", I find it interesting that I or any other t.v. viewer can take a fictional show and actually relate parts of it to REAL life...and use this relation to make ourselves better.

Before I sound crazy and you stop reading, think about the fact that everybody on this show is running from something. Of course, it's obvious that Kate is not only running from the law, but she's also running from the memory of her best friend that she inadvertently got killed, and the man she herself killed. There's Sawyer who's running from the man he killed while trying to forget the memory of an abusive father who killed his mother and then committed suicide, and while Sawyer is running from this, he also has to pay accountability for his grifter past. Hurley is trying to escape a self-inflicted "curse" that he feels he suffered because of a group of numbers. Sayid is running from a past life of a Iranian soldier while ducking American eyes of being profiled as a terrorist and running to rekindle a past connection.

Locke is trying to run from a mundane and handicapped life where he heard, "You can't do that" a lot. This life seems to have been forced on him because he trusted someone who claimed to be family yet betrayed him. Because of this, he seems intent on manipulating people to avoid being let down by anyone else. Jin is trying to run away with his wife, Sun because her father is apparently the Chinese version of William Fisk a.k.a. Kingpin(google the name if you haven't heard of him) and he doesn't want to lose the little goodness he has left in him after doing all the evil that Sun's father has commanded Jin to do. On top of this, Sun is trying to run away from her husband because she feels that the man she once loved is a stranger no longer to be trusted. Then there is Micheal, a man who lost the woman he loved because she wanted more out of life than she thought she could get with him, and Walter, the son he never got a chance to know. Now with Walter being a teenager, Micheal is running from having anything to do with a son he once loved as a baby, but now knows nothing about since the two of them have been living in separate countries and are worlds apart.

There's Claire, the pregnant mother who not only had a runaway deadbeat dad, but now questions her chances of survival as a first time single mom. Charlie is a washed up musician who is running away from a heroin addiction that has cost him several meaningful relationships, a music career, and a job, but he manages to find this same heroin demon on a deserted island(of all places). Then there's Jack...a doctor who is one of the central characters who is running from being known as the hero and ducking the responsibility of being the go-to guy that everyone calls on whenever there is trouble. He's also running from the pain of blaming himself for his alcoholic dad's mistakes.

There you have it...the cast of LOST and one central theme...running. We all have demons and other mistakes that we are trying to live down one way or another. We can always run from our demons, but the truth is that those demons are always one or two steps behind us and we can never run for the rest of our lives even though some try to. We always end up facing one realization...those things we are running from eventually catch up to us. The best thing any of us can do is to stand and fight our demons because even if we lose, we still have the knowledge that we fought our mistakes with our dignity intact. We also know that our best chance to live free of our problems is to stand and fight them until we are finally victorious, and winning only happens when we stop running.

This ends tonight's life lesson and in closing...if LOST turns out to be somebody's "dream" or if the show fades to black à la The Sopranos, I'm going to find J.J. Abrams and shake the mess out of him.

Either she's lying or brother, you need help!

All I want to do is watch the Super Bowl in peace, but first, I have to vent. I know that domestic abuse is a serious offense that no one should ever mock or take lightly because there's nothing funny about a black eye, bruises, or the mental and spiritual pain that tylenol can't treat. So like most people, when I see or hear about abuse, my first reaction is to believe the accuser. In the next second, I have to remind myself the world that I live in now.

First, to the "men"(or "women") who physically abuse your "loved" ones...STOP! If you don't have the mental capacity to stop yourself from raising your hand in anger or if you get some twisted happiness in hurting someone else, I beg of you to seek professional help, otherwise, you will face the consequences of your actions in other ways. I'm not saying this just based on my belief in God, but through my own witness of evil actions begetting evil results. When you as an abuser put away your anger and hate, you not only save the well being of your victim, but yourself as well.


Nowadays, it's easier for someone to sue someone in hopes of a big payoff rather than work honestly for what they want. So who better to go after than a big name celebrity with loads of cash who sometimes has the wrong people or no people giving them advice on how to treat their fame and status? So for those who look to the haves to supply your wants...STOP! Crying abuse when it's a lie not only hurts the person you accuse, but it affects everyone they're around as well. Your desire to live the life of a golddigger does not give you the right to be malicious against someone who wasn't that into you in the first place. If you want to mooch, there are plenty of "reality" shows for you to seek your fame and fortune that way.

So for the "men" who are guilty of abuse, and the men who are falsely accused...throw away your friends! The company you keep aren't necessarily supposed to be your father figures, but they should have enough sense to let you know when you're around a bad situation. If your "friends" parade "hoes" in front of you, then these are the same "friends" who would testify against you in court. A friend that shows you the self-respecting woman is the same friend that not only respects you, but will warn you when you're about to do something foolish.

This concludes my rant...now on to my game!

Life...the great popularity contest

In case you hadn't heard, Tiger Woods wrecked his SUV and his wife a.k.a. Wonder Woman, smashed the back glass with a 9 iron before ripping out the back seat and saving Woods from the fiery crash. Maybe, I exaggerated a little bit, but the truth is that I'm still a little stunned. I heard about this first on my local news and then I heard about it on Sportscenter(naturally), but then TMZ was also one of the first shows to "break" this news. I'm expecting CNN and FOX to have an in-depth analysis of the accident and of course Bill O'Reilly, Glenn Beck, or some other loudmouthed, overrated, conspiracy theory spitting Republican that "is for the people" will somehow convince some people that this is all the fault of Barack Obama. My question is WTF?!

How is it possible that Jon and Kate, the octomom, and Brad and Angelina are household names, but the names of the politicians who are for or against universal health care are known only to political "pundits" or people who wake up to the sounds of CNN and FOX? Why are we more likely to read an article about the end of days for the Oprah Winfrey show rather than watch a video that talks about the alternatives to fossil fuels? Is it because we love Oprah, but hate saving money and the environment?

Everything has its own place in our minds, and I know that the most popular topics will always be what we see the most of on t.v. All that I'm saying now is that sometimes the most popular topics should be the ones that directly affect our homes, cities, and states rather than how big, mean Kanye scarred poor, defenseless Taylor - which is of course historical news by now, but you get the point.